I cried on Monday.
I stared quietly out the windows as we drove.
There was nothing to say.
I didn't want to be here.
On Tuesday I smiled...once.
Shane said something that I couldn't help but smile about.
It lasted only a moment.
I immediately went back to quiet contemplation.
Shane tried to console me.
I didn't want to cry again.
I knew moving to Colorado would be tough.
I didn't think it would be this tough.
Leaving school, friends, and what I felt was a perfect life, left a hole in me.
Wednesday looked a bit brighter.
I told myself I couldn't be sad forever especially over moving.
I read the words of the prophets which reminded me that this trial I feel is one
of short duration and that my life is marvelous with nothing to feel despair over.
I'm allowed to feel sad that a chapter in my life is over and then look brightly to the future.
I found a soccer team to play on.
That made me smile, and this time it lasted longer.
That made me smile, and this time it lasted longer.
By Thursday I almost felt like Colorado was home.
(How strange to feel like my home state wasn't home.)
I almost felt like my happy, smiley self too.
I looked for the good in my current situation, and when I really thought
about it, I realized that this coming chapter really could be better than the last.
I don't need to be sad.
about it, I realized that this coming chapter really could be better than the last.
I don't need to be sad.
I loved Friday.
I walked with Valarie and Taylor.
I love that baby.
We ate.
We laughed.
I laughed with Shane.
I laughed with Mindi.
I laughed with Ed.
I'm feeling better with this situation everyday.
Despite my childhood familiarity, Colorado still seems foreign.
But someday Colorado will be home again.
4 comments:
This made me sad and happy.. and hopeful, maybe? I feel to be in the same position. Torn about being excited and sad. Thanks for sharing! Miss seeing you at soccer already. You are one step ahead of me- I still haven't found a team.
Utah will miss you dearly. Hopefully I'll see you at the alumni game this fall.
I miss you! But, life is about doing hard things, right? The best things are the things you work hard for. I say this to myself, it's going to be hard having you gone! :)
Moving brings out lots of emotions! Funny though, for me when we moved from Utah, I wrote about how happy I was to leave! Haha. Don't get me wrong, we really enjoyed being there, esp for school, but I was ready for a change. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much that you didn't want to go! Do you think the move would be as tough if you were moving somewhere else instead? The reason I ask is because I feel the same way you do about CO not feeling like home. Every time we go back to visit, it seems more and more foreign to me. Weird how that works out.
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